My worst Fear

I was driving down the road today and all of the sudden it hit me. I have 5 days left with my precious one. Just 5 days. Then something else hit me. I have enjoyed this month off so much. It has been the best 5 weeks of my life. That time off was actually my "testimony" in sunday school. What if I never get another 5 weeks off? What if I totally blew this 5 weeks with her? What if I forget this total feeling of contentment I have been feeling just being her mommy. Then this terrible terrible feeling of dread hit me. What if I get old and forget? What is I can't remember the fun we had when she was growing up. I think my worst fear had been dying like Grandpa died. Or worse, not getting the blessing he got when he got sick. Today I realized that I would be able to handle that sort of horrible death as long as I had my memories. Yes, we have horrible moments every day. Those times when she is doing exactly what I tell her not to, or the times when I think she is going to get hurt. The precious moments, the ones that seem stolen are the ones I never ever ever want to forget. I love you, Samantha Eulean Hermann. I love you with everything I have in me. I hope I never forget and always cherish every moment I get to spend with you.

sweet dreams
Sandy