Random thoughts
A million thoughts run through my head, begging to be released. Happy thoughts, confused thoughts, frightened thoughts. Things that my brain cannot seem to grasp. Lets start with the happy. Happy 32nd BIrthday Dw. You are officially old today. Of course, as it does every year, 32 will suddenly not be old when June 6th comes around. Although, if old feels anything like I felt tonihgt after I walked in from work, maybe 32 is old. When did a 20 min ride become long enough to make me so stiff I could hardly walk?
Moving on to confused. What makes me so weak that I cannot handle confrontation wiht a stupid bully. I am smart. I should be able to outsmart a bully. Somehow a bully almost stops me in my tracks. I no real reason to fear the bully what are they going to do to me? Matty Matt thank you for standing by me when I was goofed up tonight. I drew from your strength. You are a great man. You somehow had the ability to make me feel important even though you had a million important things to do. A new boss is a hard thing to please, trust me I know that.
Moving from confused to scared. I came in the house tonight, and walked into the bedroom and saw Sami sleeping. The scripture verse to whom much is given much shall be required came to mind. She is so much of a blessing to me. It scares my heart so much it hurts to think of the amazing responisbiltity God gave me when He gave her to me. It is so much more than making sure she is clean and well clothed. He created a true masterpiece when He created her. Then he gave her to me. All I am is a screw up, the high maintenance child. Most days I am not even sure I have my head on, mustless on straight. Despite these truthes everyday I get to hold in my arms a priceless treasure. A blessing! A promise of a hopeful future. A wonder. What is going to keep me from totally ruining this treasure. I suppose there is always grace. God please give me the grace and wisdom that I need to help her grow. The strenght to stand back and know when to let her fall. The understanding to be able to help her when she needs me. The willingness to watch her grow away from me as she strenghtens. And the power to teach her about true happiness.
Once agian my mind switches channels back to happiness. Watching Sami sleeping brings me a happiness that I happiness that I never thought I would know. She is so very special and important to me.
Moving on to confused. What makes me so weak that I cannot handle confrontation wiht a stupid bully. I am smart. I should be able to outsmart a bully. Somehow a bully almost stops me in my tracks. I no real reason to fear the bully what are they going to do to me? Matty Matt thank you for standing by me when I was goofed up tonight. I drew from your strength. You are a great man. You somehow had the ability to make me feel important even though you had a million important things to do. A new boss is a hard thing to please, trust me I know that.
Moving from confused to scared. I came in the house tonight, and walked into the bedroom and saw Sami sleeping. The scripture verse to whom much is given much shall be required came to mind. She is so much of a blessing to me. It scares my heart so much it hurts to think of the amazing responisbiltity God gave me when He gave her to me. It is so much more than making sure she is clean and well clothed. He created a true masterpiece when He created her. Then he gave her to me. All I am is a screw up, the high maintenance child. Most days I am not even sure I have my head on, mustless on straight. Despite these truthes everyday I get to hold in my arms a priceless treasure. A blessing! A promise of a hopeful future. A wonder. What is going to keep me from totally ruining this treasure. I suppose there is always grace. God please give me the grace and wisdom that I need to help her grow. The strenght to stand back and know when to let her fall. The understanding to be able to help her when she needs me. The willingness to watch her grow away from me as she strenghtens. And the power to teach her about true happiness.
Once agian my mind switches channels back to happiness. Watching Sami sleeping brings me a happiness that I happiness that I never thought I would know. She is so very special and important to me.
posted by Sam @ 10:59 AM
1 Comments:
At 2:53 PM,
Monica said…
You are not kidding about the responsibility part! They are such a treasure and need to be handled as such. We are so very blessed. I am sorry to hear about the bully. Is it the same one?
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